She taught me how to eat an apple
No waste
Just seeds and a stem
Within one, there lie all that was needed to make another
We sat at lake’s shore
Waters edge continuously joking it was gonna get us
You have to eat the core as you go
She said
Don’t leave it for the end
Was I in over my head?
Did she take my freedom?
Or did I give it up?
Why did I give it up so easily?
Holding my phone
one minute till the hour
Zero minutes
No call
We promised
Like pulling the aglet on a shoelace I came undone
Melting
Collecting
in a pool on the floor
Found out later that she forgot
I lay like an creamsicle in mid July while she forgot
Like the san Francisco bay
Fog gathered
I cant stop touching you
She said
Entranced by glitter dripping from her mouth
Im not a fan of PDA
She said
Introducing me to a friend
her hand like a bar of soap she touched me
I thought you said…
She taught me
that people are full of contradictions
not to give up my own rules for someone else’s
to join together is not to lose yourself
to create a union is not to become unanimous
to intertwine is not to blend where you can no longer find her edges and your beginnings
we made the best vegan chocolate cake
I still make it
Aunt Wendy’s recipe
the smell from the kitchen silently calling, pulling me
Nostrils enlarge
my nose tips forward
legs start working then running to avoid falling
don’t eat it
she said
it has to cool
mother and child
my eyes wide, mouth open, face bordering the pan
I am the same person who revelled over the cake then
But I know a few more things
The scene looks different
I share the cake with new people
They say “mmmh” with closed eyes
Cacao coloured joy on their tongues
Where did you get the recipe?
A friend
I say
A soft smile pushes up my cheeks
Nostalgia coloured by lose ends flashes in my mind and body
She taught me how to kiss
I think i've been having romantic feelings for you
Her head in my lap
The words held with hesitation and apprehension
I swallowed
I repeated adding “too”
This new mutual truth permeated our still bodies
like walking after sitting for a long time
How to act now?
I had never been here before
I had a beer at the party that night
The pulled up edges of my smile to the bottle crafted two rivers down the sides of my chin
Verbal contracts
I held onto everything I could
Any promise to keep afloat in icy waters
Eating the core along the way
She devoured me
Unrecognizable
I comforted her
Leaving only pieces
I grew back
From what was left
Retrospectively I laugh at seamless foreshadowing
Listening to Emotional Motion Sickness
Our first bonded moment
I should’ve known
I love that song
She said
Commentaires