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She Said

Updated: Feb 1


She taught me how to eat an apple

No waste

Just seeds and a stem

Within one, there lie all that was needed to make another

We sat at lake’s shore

Waters edge continuously joking it was gonna get us

You have to eat the core as you go

She said

Don’t leave it for the end

Was I in over my head?

Did she take my freedom?

Or did I give it up?

Why did I give it up so easily?


Holding my phone

one minute till the hour

Zero minutes

No call

We promised

Like pulling the aglet on a shoelace I came undone

Melting

Collecting

in a pool on the floor

Found out later that she forgot

I lay like an creamsicle in mid July while she forgot


Like the san Francisco bay

Fog gathered


I cant stop touching you

She said

Entranced by glitter dripping from her mouth

Im not a fan of PDA

She said

Introducing me to a friend

her hand like a bar of soap she touched me

I thought you said…


She taught me

that people are full of contradictions

not to give up my own rules for someone else’s

to join together is not to lose yourself

to create a union is not to become unanimous

to intertwine is not to blend where you can no longer find her edges and your beginnings


we made the best vegan chocolate cake

I still make it

Aunt Wendy’s recipe

the smell from the kitchen silently calling, pulling me

Nostrils enlarge

my nose tips forward

legs start working then running to avoid falling

don’t eat it

she said

it has to cool

mother and child

my eyes wide, mouth open, face bordering the pan

I am the same person who revelled over the cake then

But I know a few more things

The scene looks different

I share the cake with new people

They say “mmmh” with closed eyes

Cacao coloured joy on their tongues

Where did you get the recipe?

A friend

I say

A soft smile pushes up my cheeks

Nostalgia coloured by lose ends flashes in my mind and body


She taught me how to kiss

I think i've been having romantic feelings for you

Her head in my lap

The words held with hesitation and apprehension

I swallowed

I repeated adding “too”

This new mutual truth permeated our still bodies

like walking after sitting for a long time

How to act now?

I had never been here before

I had a beer at the party that night

The pulled up edges of my smile to the bottle crafted two rivers down the sides of my chin


Verbal contracts

I held onto everything I could

Any promise to keep afloat in icy waters

Eating the core along the way

She devoured me

Unrecognizable

I comforted her

Leaving only pieces

I grew back

From what was left


Retrospectively I laugh at seamless foreshadowing

Listening to Emotional Motion Sickness

Our first bonded moment

I should’ve known

I love that song

She said

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