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With Self Love Everything Changes

Updated: Jan 24, 2022

Practice loving yourself with every breath. Respire l'amour(although it's kinda bullshit I admit it sounds nice)

As I am growing older I am seeing and hearing about self love and self compassion, although maybe it's just a popular topic in the media right now. Discipline is one thing, but neglecting yourself or your needs and wants is not the way to a healthier you.

"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle." James Keller

I think focusing on yourself means focusing on your interactions with the world around you, the community, and the people. For that is precisely why I put the above quote. It is so important for myself to realize that bettering myself is not just about myself but in fact my intersections with the world and the other 7 billion who inhabit it. I am constantly reminding myself that happiness only inflates when you pass it along; where if you keep it to yourself it will only deflate or morph into something that is no longer focused on happiness but perhaps on keeping all your joy to yourself. And with that attitude of greed rather than open arms my friend, I am not sure I can be of much help.

The way you speak to yourself matters

You must remember that you and all your thoughts matter. It is not a notion of arrogance but simply the informed knowledge that you are worth something. Let's take this example, perhaps you are trying to lose a healthy amount of weight. First make sure it is you who wants this (unless it is medically necessary for the livelihood of yourself, maybe take your medical providers advice into consideration as well). It is you and only you who is applying the pressure to yourself to achieve this goal. Verify there is no one in your life who is saying they would love you more if your jeans were a smaller size or you would be invited to more parties if you were not a 10. A healthy goal must start from a healthy declaration. It must be you who wants this for yourself.

Next, I must go over that love for yourself will not start when you reach a certain point in your life, when you get a certain job/dream job, when you become a certain weight, certain height, or have X amount of money. No! It has to start now and never stop. Being grateful for who you are and what you have to bring to the table will not start until you start doing it. You hold the power. You hold the ability to give love to yourself. You hold the power. Use it.

"The grass is always greener on the other side" -everyone and their brother

It's very seldom that this is true. We all want what the other has. It's only because we are accustomed to what we have, we no longer see its incredible value and worth the way our fresh eyes once did before we had it.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” Epicurus

Concise list of practicing self love whenever, wherever(all the time, everywhere is the goal):

.Say hello

.Look people in the eyes

.Smile-it produces endorphines

.Compliment at least one person for something about their personality, something they're

wearing, something

.Wear color- in your clothing, socks, makeup, lipstick (sidenote: I love lipstick!)

.Walk with purpose

.Walk with your chin just above parallel to the ground

.Sing along

.Dance along

.Say what you want to say

.!!!Look in the mirror. Tell yourself a sentiment resembling "you are beautiful/flawless/needed/loved/a badass/fuckin amazing/worthy of love and attention...." Say your phrase to yourself 10X, with further meaning and belief in its truth each time you say it!!!

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