I am all the women i have ever been
I have looked down on all the women I have ever been
Shamed them
Berated and hated them
Minimized their efforts
Made fun of their feelings
Starved their bodies
Let us eat
They tell me
We are hungry to feel full
Let us speak
They advise
Let us play
They beg
Why do you obstruct us?
Interrupt us
Then scream with anger through your tears
Why are you not better yet?
Why are you not perfect yet?
I do not want to be a prisoner here
My knuckles are white
Fingers forced into palms
Skin stretched over bone
No room for blood to flow
I am trying to let go
I know they say
Control is habit
I like when you hold me says one of the little girls
I like when you dance with me says a teenager
I like when you dare to love me says a young women
A woman close to my age whispers
I like when you forgive me
Dumbfounded
Their memories alive within me
I know the secrets they keep
paths taken
words uttered
times they failed
sadness held
anger suppressed
pain guarded
I have only recently begun to know how much they loved me     Â
A note from the author: still in progressÂ
Comments