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I am all of you

Updated: May 29

I am all the women i have ever been

I have looked down on all the women I have ever been

Shamed them

Berated and hated them

Minimized their efforts

Made fun of their feelings

Starved their bodies

Let us eat

They tell me

We are hungry to feel full

Let us speak

They advise

Let us play

They beg

Why do you obstruct us?

Interrupt us

Then scream with anger through your tears

Why are you not better yet?

Why are you not perfect yet?

I do not want to be a prisoner here

My knuckles are white

Fingers forced into palms

Skin stretched over bone

No room for blood to flow

I am trying to let go

I know they say

Control is habit

I like when you hold me says one of the little girls

I like when you dance with me says a teenager

I like when you dare to love me says a young women

A woman close to my age whispers

I like when you forgive me


Their memories alive within me

I know the secrets they keep

paths taken

words uttered

times they failed

sadness held

anger suppressed

pain guarded

I have only recently begun to know how much they loved me      

A note from the author: still in progress 

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